1 00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:05,664 Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, 2 00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:08,674 Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator... 3 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,733 and vanished. 4 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:19,449 He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, 5 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,544 facing mirror images that were not his own... 6 00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:26,854 and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. 7 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:32,193 His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, 8 00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:36,634 who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. 9 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:41,072 And so, Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, 10 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,876 striving to put right what once went wrong... 11 00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:47,344 and hoping each time that his next leap... 12 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,405 will be the leap home. 13 00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:54,882 Dad.! Dad, you're home.! Daddy.! Daddy.! You're here.! 14 00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:57,946 Well, it's about time. Mmm. 15 00:00:58,024 --> 00:01:02,051 Arriving passenger Martin Elroy, please report to the courtesy desk. 16 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:04,119 - Martin Elroy. - What's that about? 17 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,597 What's what about? They just paged you. 18 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:11,160 Oh. Well, I guess I was so excited to see everybody, I didn't hear it. Oh! 19 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:15,173 Well, we'll get your bags and meet you at the curb. But don't take too long. 20 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:19,735 I've got a pot roast in the oven and somethin' special for dessert. 21 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,477 Come on. Welcome back, Daddy. 22 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:28,112 Attention, please. This is the final boarding call for flight 203 to Miami. 23 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:32,557 Look at this. 24 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:35,116 Just a moment, please. You, uh- 25 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:45,266 Kids? Yea, Dad! 26 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:48,273 Oh, Daddy! Oh! I missed you, Daddy! Mmm! 27 00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,332 Surprise.! I missed you, Daddy. 28 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,344 Oh, boy. 29 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,748 Marty, aren't you glad to see us? 30 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:14,657 Yeah, I am. Sure. I'm just a little surprised, that's all. 31 00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:17,321 It got lonely in Brooklyn, baby. 32 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:21,595 I know you're here on business, but the kids hadn't seen you in such a long time. 33 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:24,262 So I checked your itinerary and I figured, 34 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:28,171 if we piled into the station wagon and drove down right away, 35 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,766 we'd hit Florida just when you did. 36 00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:35,075 So, ta-da! Here we are. 37 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,412 Here they are. So where are we staying? 38 00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:40,975 Well, I haven't really, uh, checked in yet. Everybody down. 39 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:45,423 I recommend the Pompano Palace. It's right on the beach. I've been there over the years. It's a nice place. 40 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:48,460 The Pompano Palace on the beach is really great. Yes! That's beautiful. 41 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,655 You tell 'em that Al Calavicci sent you. And, um- 42 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,631 - And they'll treat you first class. - Oh, the tropics make me hot. 43 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:56,567 Just tell 'em Al Calavicci sent you. 44 00:03:56,636 --> 00:04:00,003 Sent me? What about you? And who's Al Calavicci? 45 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,735 That man. He's standing right here. 46 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,471 And he's smoking a cigar. Can't you see him? 47 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:08,207 - No. - Uh-uh! No. No. 48 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:12,479 Uh, I'm Daddy's invisible friend. She can see us. 49 00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:15,578 But that's not Daddy. 50 00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:19,751 Oh, uh-Yes, it is. It-It's Daddy in disguise. 51 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,885 Oh. Oh. 52 00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:26,091 - Daddy's in disguise. - Where does she come up with this stuff? 53 00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:28,429 Probably books and stuff that she'd be reading. 54 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:31,163 Right, Dad. All the characters in Mother Goose smoke cigars. 55 00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:33,705 Don't you take that tone with your father, young man! 56 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,435 Why don't you take the kids and go on and check in, okay? 57 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:39,376 I'll be with you soon as I can. Aren't you coming with us? 58 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:42,380 Uh, I gotta make a stop first. What kind of stop? 59 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,916 Well, you're a traveling salesman for Bestway Brushes. 60 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:47,350 I'm a traveling salesman. I knew you're a traveling salesman. 61 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,752 You cover a lot of territory. Of course you know that. 62 00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:52,848 But I got to meet a client about a big sale. Big sale? 63 00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:54,153 Big brushes. Big brushes. 64 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:55,524 For big brushes? Yeah. 65 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:58,189 You better get out of here before "you know who" shows up. 66 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,358 Daddy's friend, Al, wants us to go now. He says someone's looking for Daddy. 67 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,959 Marty, have you been gambling again? What? 68 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,028 - Mmm. - Al says yes. 69 00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:08,665 Don't lie to me, Marty. You know it makes me crazy. 70 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:11,141 She's talking to my invisible friend. Don't forget that. 71 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:14,373 Oh! Right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. 72 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,938 It must be the humidity. All right. Come on. Yeah. 73 00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:19,541 Okay. I'll see you all later. Huh? 74 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,053 Where are you taking us for dinner? 75 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:25,682 Um, I'm not sure that I'll be able to make it back in time for dinner. 76 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:29,524 Marty Elroy, are you up to no good? I'll be there for dinner. 77 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,100 Let's go! Move it. Move it. Bye, Dad. 78 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,659 Bye, Al. 79 00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:40,331 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 80 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,333 Oh, boy. 81 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,012 What's wrong? 82 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:55,748 What's wrong? Al, I'm a bigamist! 83 00:06:03,996 --> 00:06:07,762 Can you believe this? I got a wife in Brooklyn and a wife in Pompano Beach. 84 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:11,361 Yeah. Seems like a great setup. Uh, unless they meet. 85 00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:14,270 That's what Ziggy says you're here to do, is to keep 'em apart. 86 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:16,365 For how long? Don't know. 87 00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:19,343 I mean, Marty had no idea that Rachel was coming to Florida. 88 00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:23,974 Which one's Rachel? Uh, the last one. The one that gets hot in the tropics. 89 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,712 Eh, her kids areJosh and Jessica. 90 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,448 Now, the wife that wants you for dessert is Ellen. 91 00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:32,013 Her kids are Mary and Martin. Mary Martin? 92 00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:35,026 Yeah. Peter Pan was big in the '50s. Yeah, but where's Tinkerbell? 93 00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:37,619 That's your dog. You got a pedigreed greyhound. Al- 94 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:41,633 - Marty.! Yoo-hoo.! - I got a greyhound for a pet? 95 00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:46,365 Yeah. Uh, you're a big fan of the dog races, and you bought Tinkerbell for an investment. 96 00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:51,399 Now listen, have fun with Ellen, but don't be late for Rachel. 97 00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:55,937 Ah, gee. This is my kinda leap! 98 00:06:57,617 --> 00:07:00,017 Dad.! Hurry up.! Let's go, honey. 99 00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:07,482 Uh, what's been goin'on since I've been gone? 100 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,721 I got an "A" on my science project. 101 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,856 Yeah? Oh, that's great. Uh, what was it about? 102 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,230 Uh, static electricity. Oh, yeah. Right. 103 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,202 He proved why clothes stick together in the dryer. 104 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,239 That's great. 105 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:22,797 And Mary had her checkup at the dentist. Good. 106 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:26,242 No cavities! That's great too. 107 00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:30,246 You said you'd bring them a reward, remember? 108 00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:34,082 Rewa- Of course. This is definitely a time for rewards. 109 00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:37,554 Just gotta - Where did I put those, uh, rewards? 110 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,887 You usually put them in your tote bag. 111 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:43,326 Right! Right. They're in my tote bag. Okay? 112 00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:47,531 I'll go get it. 113 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,136 I, uh, finished that special math assignment you gave me. 114 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,436 Oh, good. 115 00:07:57,376 --> 00:08:00,368 You handicapped the dog races for me? You owe me three bucks. 116 00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:03,142 What? Here we are.! Reward time.! 117 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:06,151 Okay.! Reward time. 118 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,950 All right. Let's see what we got in here. 119 00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:14,322 Uh, something should be in here for Marty. There we go! 120 00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:18,659 MartyJr. And Mary. There you are. 121 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:21,564 A shoehorn? From the Fiesta Hotel? 122 00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:23,499 Very practical. 123 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,935 Yeah, but it's what you got me last time. 124 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,701 But you got two feet, right? 125 00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:32,835 Look! A disposable shower cap. 126 00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:39,149 Well, I know I got a lot more stuff in here, you know, 127 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,880 so just don't panic. 128 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:46,283 Excuse me. I have to go study for my history test. 129 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,351 I thought your history test wasn't until next week. 130 00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:51,589 - It's a big test. - Maybe I can help. 131 00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:54,224 It's not about the horse races. 132 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,667 How come Mom always gets more presents than we do? 133 00:08:57,737 --> 00:09:00,831 Because she's- she's the mother. 134 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:05,834 Come on. Uh, there's gotta be more stuff in here. 135 00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:13,547 That's it! I told you last time, I'm not taking my lunch to school in a barf bag! 136 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:17,385 Don't you take that tone with your father, young man! 137 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,288 I gotta go. Where? 138 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:26,627 Got to go! Well, I got a meeting, you know. After dinner? 139 00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:31,636 Yeah. Well, uh, the client is a guy from, uh, Tokyo, see? 140 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:33,865 And over in Tokyo right now, it's morning. 141 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:37,103 And this guy, he's-he's still stuck on Tokyo time. 142 00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:40,839 But it's movie night, Martin. You know Friday night is movie night. 143 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:45,976 Yeah, well - There's a cartoonarama at the theater, and the children love cartoons. 144 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:48,418 Yes. And you promised. 145 00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:52,082 But don't you understand? Is there something you're not telling me, Martin? 146 00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:54,149 Like perhaps you're going to the track? 147 00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:57,821 No! No! I'm not going to the track. No, I'm not. Really. 148 00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:00,832 Listen, how about if we go, uh, to the movies tomorrow night? 149 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,834 Tomorrow night? Yeah. 150 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:05,962 Is our night. Remember? Oh. 151 00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:08,029 Naughty schoolgirl night? 152 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:15,547 Okay. Well, then why don't you go to the movies, and I'll meet you? 153 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,846 How's that? Okay? All right. I'll- 154 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:21,478 Are you forgetting something? Am I forgetting some- 155 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,522 Oh! Yeah. Okay. 156 00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:26,285 Mmm. 157 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,987 Mmm.! 158 00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:33,827 I missed you, babe. What took you so long? 159 00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:38,666 It was a long meeting with a lot of, uh, big brushes that we had to talk about. 160 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:41,901 The kids were getting antsy, so I had to order in. 161 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,965 Eat, Marty. What's the matter? 162 00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:46,705 Well, I'm just not in the mood for pizza today, that's all. 163 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,747 I'm in the mood for you. 164 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:52,079 Tonight's chambermaid night, remember? 165 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,382 Hey, Dad.! Look what I got.! 166 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:59,720 We got Kleenex, shoehorns, shower caps. 167 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:03,228 I got towels, two bars of soap, 168 00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:05,229 sewing kits... 169 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:08,357 and last, but certainly not least, two rolls of toilet paper! 170 00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:11,335 - Where'd you get all that stuff? - I raided the maid's cart. 171 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,669 - You can't steal from the maid! - Why not? You taught me how to do it. 172 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:17,436 We need a bath mat. One bath mat coming up. 173 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,343 No.! No.! Wait a sec- Josh, get back here.! Jo- No.! 174 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:23,211 No, thank you. L- I-I don't feel like it. Come on. 175 00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:25,409 Daddy. Daddy.! What's this for? 176 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:28,044 Ah, look at that! 177 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,850 I haven't seen one of those since 19- 178 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:33,756 Since the last time I was in a really nice hotel. 179 00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:37,284 See, you, um-You take a dime, right, and you put it in there. 180 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:42,062 And then you turn it on. And it makes the whole bed shake, kinda like a massage. 181 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:45,297 I know another way to make the bed shake. Mm-hmm. 182 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:50,598 I've got a dime. Well, here. Let me have it. I'll turn it on. 183 00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:53,873 I'm no thief. Come on. And I'm no sucker. 184 00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:56,437 A Massage-omatic. You apologize to your father right now. 185 00:11:56,515 --> 00:12:00,417 One time Ruthie and I were in Cleveland, and we had one of those things running for nine hours straight. 186 00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:02,477 This is so fun! There was nothin'else to do. 187 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,388 - Al, I don't want to hear about it. - But, Marty, she's giving you lip. 188 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:09,087 He's not talking to you. He's talking to his invisible friend. 189 00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:15,990 - I need to go to the bathroom. - Me first! 190 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,502 What? Wait, wait, wait! Wait a second! I'm gonna beat you! 191 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,801 Make sure you open the window when you're done, honey. 192 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:23,637 Sam, I'll meet you in the hall. I'll use the one in the lobby. 193 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,670 What did you find out, Al? 194 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:32,343 Well, I was talking to the real Marty. I think I found a new idol. 195 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,319 Idol? Al! The guy's a bigamist! 196 00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:37,719 Look at that guy. I know. But think about it. 197 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:42,659 If I had tried that, I could have - I could've gone through 10 wives instead of five! 198 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,719 Al. 199 00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:46,958 I got Rachel and her kids to the hotel. 200 00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:49,364 I got Ellen and her kids to the house. Uh-huh. 201 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:53,428 They didn't bump into each other. I did what I was supposed to do. Now, why haven't I leaped? 202 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,633 That's not what you were supposed to do. 203 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:59,269 That's what you said I was supposed to do! That was just the first part. 204 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,336 Okay. Okay. What's the second part? 205 00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:04,405 Well, now Ziggy's saying there's a 75% chance... 206 00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:08,112 that you're here because Marty's only supposed to have one wife. 207 00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:10,121 What? 208 00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:14,091 All right. Okay. Well, then-then which one? Oh, you're not gonna like this. 209 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,960 Well, just have Ziggy tell me which wife I'm supposed to pick, okay? 210 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,998 No. No. It's not that easy. Just tell me. 211 00:13:20,065 --> 00:13:23,262 I know. But each one has strengths and weaknesses. Al. 212 00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:26,133 And pluses and "minuseses. " Al! 213 00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:30,367 The odds are, uh, 50-50. 214 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:34,171 Fifty- Oh, boy. 215 00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:41,353 How am I gonna pick somebody if the odds are 50-50? 216 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,752 Well, which one do you like? Huh? 217 00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:50,789 I don't know. Um, which one do you like? 218 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:52,797 Me? Yeah. 219 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:55,333 I don't know. 220 00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:57,335 Rachel. Ellen? 221 00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,337 Rachel? Ellen? 222 00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,067 You and Ellen? What do ya mean, me and Ellen? 223 00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:04,632 What are ya laughing at? She's not your type. 224 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:07,304 I mean, Rachel's the one with the vibrating bed. 225 00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:10,212 Is that why you picked her? No. No. It's not the reason. 226 00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:13,115 I don't know why I picked her, Al. 227 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:16,552 I guess because it seems like she needs more help straightening out her life. 228 00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:19,090 Ellen seems stronger, you know, more put together. 229 00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:21,991 Hmm. Well, I love- 230 00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:27,524 I love taking things apart... and foolin' with 'em. Al. 231 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,534 Yeah? 232 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,934 Who does Marty think that he should pick? 233 00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:34,131 He can't make up his mind either. 234 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:38,870 He married Ellen first, so technically she's got three years of seniority. 235 00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:42,880 What about Rachel? Oh, that's kinda romantic. He married her on a bet. 236 00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:47,214 A bet? Yeah. She works as a cocktail waitress at the Long Island Turf Club. 237 00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:50,722 And he bet her that she couldn't stay married to him for one year. 238 00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:53,724 And they're celebrating their ninth anniversary next month. 239 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:57,990 Great. Great. How's that gonna help me pick? Right? Somebody's gonna get hurt here. 240 00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:01,590 Well, Marty can only have one wife. What a shame. 241 00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,658 Al. Huh? 242 00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,972 How am I gonna choose which one? 243 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:08,973 Well, you get to know them a little bit. 244 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,032 You have dessert with Ellen. 245 00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:14,944 You-You fan Rachel's little hot tropical flame there. 246 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:18,450 And - But right now you better forget that and get to the theater. 247 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:21,850 Oh, God! Oh! I'll see you later. 248 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:25,482 Rachel, listen, I-I know you drove all the way down here to see me and everything, 249 00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:29,721 but, uh, right now I have this very important meeting that I have to get to, okay? 250 00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,922 Didn't you have a meetin' this afternoon? 251 00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:34,989 Yes. But this is a meeting about that meeting. 252 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:37,331 See? So I'll be back in just a second, okay? 253 00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:39,769 You're making me crazy again, Marty! 254 00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:42,329 We drove all the way down here to see you. I know, but- 255 00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:46,469 Sam. Maybe you shouldn't go because Ziggy says there's a 50-50 chance you're supposed to be here with Rachel. 256 00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:49,673 Look, then I'm gonna be late for the other appointment. 257 00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,740 Jessica missed her piano recital, and Josh missed his play... 258 00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:56,151 all because they wanted to spend time with their father. 259 00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:59,952 Okay. All right. But, you see, I can't be in two places at once. 260 00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,425 I'm having palpitations. 261 00:16:02,494 --> 00:16:04,985 You? Yeah. All right. Look. Look. 262 00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,726 Okay. All right. Just sit down. Open the door! Come on! 263 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,564 I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll cancel my meeting. Okay? 264 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:14,595 You can't do that! No! Ziggy says there's a 50-50 chance you're supposed to be with Ellen. 265 00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:19,076 All right! Okay! Um, and I'll tell you what. Instead, let's all go to the movies. 266 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,772 Oh! Oh! Oh! You really mean it? Okay? Yeah. Sure. 267 00:16:21,847 --> 00:16:24,645 Oh, how about we all go see Chainsaw Massacre in the Sand? 268 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:28,414 Or Invaders from Uranus? How 'bout that, huh? No. We're going to the cartoonarama. 269 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,217 Oh, Dad, I hate cartoons. I'm sick of cartoons. Yeah, well- 270 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,554 - Sounds dangerous to me, Sam. - You got a better idea? 271 00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,594 I just gave you two. Josh, stop whining! 272 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,596 Mom! 273 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:41,132 Come on, Jessica! 274 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,192 I'm ready. Okay! Last one to the car's a rotten egg! Let's go! 275 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:46,203 I get to sit in the front. No, I do. 276 00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:48,466 No, you just did last time- It's Jessica's turn, Joshua. 277 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:52,533 That's it! It's my turn! No lip from you, or you stay right here! 278 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:56,308 I can't wait to see the cartoon! 279 00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:07,517 Josh. 280 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:10,153 I know how you feel. 281 00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:13,721 Sometimes it's tough being an older brother. 282 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:17,868 Things don't always seem fair. 283 00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:23,305 But your little sister is too young to understand. 284 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,570 That's why we make excuses for her- 285 00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:28,772 because we're more grown up than she is. 286 00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:33,443 - Come on, Dad. - "Come on" what? 287 00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:36,920 Whenever we have a heart-to-heart, the next thing you do is you hit me up for cash. 288 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:39,549 - What? - And you know I'm tapped out. 289 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,594 You borrowed my allowance, and then you raided my piggy bank. Wait. Wait. 290 00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:45,221 I'm broke. Wait! I don't want your allowance. 291 00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:50,098 I could see you were upset, and I care about you. I just wanted to talk to you about it. 292 00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:52,660 I hate when you beg. 293 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,206 This is the last time. This is the last time. 294 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:58,175 This is 52 cents. It's the last of my lunch money. 295 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:01,406 Just don't spend it all in one place. Okay? 296 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:08,319 I think I'd better go get Ziggy to see if she can tilt these odds. 297 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:31,866 I, uh, have to go to the bathroom. 298 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:36,176 You just spent 20 minutes in the bathroom at the hotel. When you gotta go, you gotta go. 299 00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:37,909 I want popcorn! Me too! And a hot dog! 300 00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:39,473 And I want a black cow. Me too! 301 00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:42,247 I want licorice sticks and I want french fries. Okay? Yeah. Me too! 302 00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:44,915 Get me an ice cream bar. Okay. Popcorn for everybody. 303 00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,924 A hot dog! Black cow. Black cow. Black cow.! 304 00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:49,984 Two hot dogs. Two black cows. French fries. Licorice. I want french fries.! Some licorice.! 305 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,929 And an ice cream "bah. " And an ice cream "bah"- bar. 306 00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:57,059 Here's five dollars. And remember, Marty, I count the change. 307 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,556 Look who's here! Dad! 308 00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:23,891 Oh, what a nice surprise! And the races aren't even over yet. 309 00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:26,226 And here I am. How about that? 310 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:38,004 I'm gonna go get some popcorn. I'll be right back, okay? 311 00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:42,012 Martin, honey, we don't get popcorn until intermission. 312 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,942 It's fresher now. 313 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,510 Just sit still and watch the movie. 314 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,186 - I gotta go to the bathroom. - Me too. 315 00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:00,197 - Not until intermission. - I can't hold it. 316 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:04,431 All right. 317 00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:11,469 There you go- two popcorns and one orangejuice. 318 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,171 Hey, you go ahead, all right? I thought you had to go. 319 00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:18,342 I'm gonna go later. I'm gonna get a soda, and I'll meet you back in the theater, okay? 320 00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:21,477 Okay. Two popcorns, three black cows- 321 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,888 Jessica. Hi. 322 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,883 What are you doing out here? 323 00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,259 Mommy wants to know what's taking so long. 324 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:35,289 The line in the men's room was long. But the food line's a lot shorter. 325 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:39,827 So I'll get all the food, and I'll meet you back inside with Mommy. 326 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,896 Hmm. Okay. 327 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,736 Whew! 328 00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:52,409 All right. Get a pencil and paper 'cause this is a lot of stuff here. 329 00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:55,749 Three popcorns, two brown cows, french fries, 330 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:58,881 licorice, two hot dogs and an ice cream bar. 331 00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:01,653 Okay. Thank you, sir. That should be 2.95. 332 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:11,428 What is all this? It's just a little snack, that's all. 333 00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:14,097 Dad says they gave it to him for free. He was the 100th customer. 334 00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:17,141 Oh, my! That ice cream bar sure looks yummy. 335 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,700 Wait a minute. You said we wouldn't eat anything till intermission. 336 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,110 Look, a hot dog. Licorice sticks forJunior and black cows! 337 00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:24,774 You remembered I love black cows! All right. Hold it! 338 00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:30,582 The guy forgot my ketchup. I'll be right back. 339 00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:32,647 Excuse me.! 340 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:51,203 Here I am! What took so long? 341 00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:53,836 Well- Where's my hot dog? 342 00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:57,814 Where's my licorice? Where's Mom's ice cream bar? Give me that! That's mine! 343 00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:00,374 Give it to me! Give it back to me! Give it back! 344 00:22:00,452 --> 00:22:02,443 Give it back to me! It's mine! I had it first! 345 00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:05,979 Can you believe the guy forgot to put 'em in there? He was- 346 00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:08,822 I'll be right back. 347 00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:14,328 Junior, keep an eye on your sister. I'm going to look for your father. 348 00:22:19,971 --> 00:22:22,371 That's it. That's it! 349 00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:24,534 He's probably on the phone placing a bet. 350 00:22:24,609 --> 00:22:28,670 Josh, watch your sister. I'm going to give your father a piece of my mind. 351 00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:31,238 Oh, my God.! Look at the goodies.! 352 00:22:31,316 --> 00:22:33,716 Look at that popcorn! Look at the ice cream bar! 353 00:22:33,785 --> 00:22:36,845 Al, this ice cream bar could ruin his marriage. Which one? 354 00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:38,981 Babe? 355 00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:42,016 Uh-oh. Honey? 356 00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:46,030 Uh-oh. Sam, do something. Hide.! Quick.! Quick.! Quick.! Quick.! Quick.! 357 00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:48,032 Honey.! 358 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:50,933 Babe? 359 00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:52,993 Honey! 360 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,867 Stay low, Sam.! 361 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:06,813 Going, going, going- You got away with it this time, Sam. 362 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,876 Whew. Wow. 363 00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:14,622 Al! 364 00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:17,895 Where's your ice cream bar? Huh? 365 00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:20,124 Your ice cream bar? 366 00:23:20,198 --> 00:23:23,998 Oh, no! Oh, man! You stepped on your ice cream bar. 367 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:26,060 Sam! And you need more popcorn. 368 00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:28,572 I don't have a dime. I don't have anything at all. 369 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,074 Oh, whoa! Whoa! I don't wanna hear you say that! 370 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:35,739 You know how that makes me feel. Bicarb. Do I know you guys? 371 00:23:35,814 --> 00:23:39,875 No hard I.D.'s on these guys, but knowing how Marty gambled, they're probably gamblers. 372 00:23:39,951 --> 00:23:43,853 Gus, don't you hate it when they do that? Don't you hate it when they say that? 373 00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:46,652 "I forgot it. " "I left it in my other pants. " 374 00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:49,250 "I had to bail my Aunt Frieda out of jail. " 375 00:23:49,327 --> 00:23:52,660 Marty, you know better than this. 376 00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:55,359 I mean, I'm ashamed of you. Al? 377 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:59,097 You know that this is movie night. 378 00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:03,505 And on movie night we always go and take a little walk... 379 00:24:03,575 --> 00:24:06,271 and have our little chat. 380 00:24:06,344 --> 00:24:10,747 Uh, so, yeah. H - How did you like the movie tonight, you guys? 381 00:24:10,816 --> 00:24:12,977 We don't review the picture. 382 00:24:13,051 --> 00:24:17,215 But, you know, on the other hand, I liked the movie very much. 383 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:21,055 I love happy endings. I hate it when a movie makes me cry. 384 00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:23,219 It's part of my sensitive nature. 385 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:25,889 I wouldn't go see Bambi then. It's a real tearjerker. 386 00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:28,592 Don't be smart, Marty. I hate it when you're smart. Hey, you nozzle! 387 00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:31,363 If you were really smart, you wouldn't owe us two grand again. 388 00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:34,200 Two grand. 389 00:24:34,272 --> 00:24:37,537 Isn't that a coincidence? That's exactly what you owe us- 390 00:24:37,609 --> 00:24:39,804 two thousand again.! 391 00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:45,747 Listen, Marty- 392 00:24:45,817 --> 00:24:49,878 two thousand, 24 hours. 393 00:24:49,955 --> 00:24:52,947 Please get the money. 394 00:24:53,024 --> 00:24:55,049 You know me- 395 00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:57,560 that sensitive, artistic side of me. 396 00:24:57,629 --> 00:25:02,692 Every time Gus here breaks thumbs, I get indigestion for a week. 397 00:25:02,767 --> 00:25:05,668 It's that crunching, cracking sound. I just- 398 00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:11,265 Hey. Here. 399 00:25:13,078 --> 00:25:15,546 Buy your kids some popcorn. 400 00:25:31,930 --> 00:25:34,922 Whoever said "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned';... 401 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,991 never scorned two women. 402 00:25:37,068 --> 00:25:41,232 And even though I had two wives, I wound up sleeping on a park bench. 403 00:25:41,306 --> 00:25:44,400 I would have liked to have given them more time to cool off, 404 00:25:44,476 --> 00:25:47,741 but my solar plexus kept reminding me that Vic and Gus meant business. 405 00:25:47,812 --> 00:25:49,746 Shut up, Jake.! 406 00:25:54,819 --> 00:25:58,653 I know you don't want to talk to me, but could you just at least listen? 407 00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:07,662 I'm really sorry about last night, and I really need to talk to your mother. 408 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:09,791 She already left for work, 409 00:26:09,868 --> 00:26:12,996 and she told me not to let you in if you showed up. 410 00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:16,006 Look, Marty, you're a little young to understand all this, 411 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:19,100 but your dad's in big trouble. 412 00:26:19,177 --> 00:26:22,578 Dad, you've been in trouble since I can remember. 413 00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:25,582 You missed my first Little League game because of opening day at Hialeah. 414 00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:29,814 You hocked my Christmas presents last year. This time the cupboard's bare. 415 00:26:29,888 --> 00:26:32,652 No. No. L-I didn't come here asking for money, okay? 416 00:26:32,724 --> 00:26:36,626 Uh, could I at least come in and take a shower? 417 00:26:36,695 --> 00:26:38,686 Hold on a second. 418 00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:50,033 Here. What are you doin'? 419 00:26:50,108 --> 00:26:53,305 I hope this helps. No. L-I don't want the money. 420 00:26:53,378 --> 00:26:55,539 Take it. 421 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:59,710 Think of it as a loan, okay? I'll- I'll put it on your tab. 422 00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,979 Just take it. 423 00:27:02,053 --> 00:27:06,490 Look, I'm really sorry I hocked your Christmas presents... 424 00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:09,891 and missed all your Little League games. 425 00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:12,486 Somehow, I'm gonna try and make it up to you. 426 00:27:14,232 --> 00:27:16,393 Okay. You can come in. 427 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:19,130 But I still have to check your pockets when you leave. 428 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:23,307 Yeah. 429 00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:30,046 Coming. 430 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:34,949 Bad time, Dad. Oh, wait a second. 431 00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:37,011 I really need to talk to your mom. 432 00:27:37,088 --> 00:27:39,579 No. I don't think it's a good idea. I just want to apologize, okay? 433 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:41,558 Do you think she'll see me? 434 00:27:41,626 --> 00:27:45,084 Well, she's not here. She went to get her hair done. Where? 435 00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:47,495 At the beauty parlor in the lobby. 436 00:27:47,565 --> 00:27:50,500 Wait, Dad. How much money do you need this time? 437 00:27:50,568 --> 00:27:53,560 None. L-I'm fine. 438 00:27:53,638 --> 00:27:55,572 Take this. Josh. 439 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,404 No. No. No. Take it. Take it. Take it. 440 00:27:58,476 --> 00:28:01,604 Look - My mom keeps some extra cash in the jewelry box. 441 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:05,411 She gave that to me to buy some souvenirs for Aunt Renee and Uncle Harvey. 442 00:28:05,483 --> 00:28:09,351 But- But I-I guess I can give 'em the bath mat instead. 443 00:28:09,421 --> 00:28:12,913 You don't understand. No. No, Dad. Just take it, please? 444 00:28:12,991 --> 00:28:18,429 And-And maybe you should just leave Mom alone for a while. Okay? 445 00:28:24,936 --> 00:28:27,427 I have two darling children. 446 00:28:27,505 --> 00:28:31,566 Josh is eight, and Jessica's five. How many do you have? 447 00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:34,703 Two. Or three, if you count my husband. 448 00:28:37,782 --> 00:28:41,047 Would you like it up or down? 449 00:28:41,119 --> 00:28:43,053 What do you think? Huh. 450 00:28:43,121 --> 00:28:45,954 If I don't come up with $2,000 by tonight, 451 00:28:46,024 --> 00:28:48,959 I'm the one who's gonna have the broken thumb. 452 00:28:49,027 --> 00:28:51,359 No, you're not gonna have a broken thumb. No? 453 00:28:51,429 --> 00:28:54,489 You're gonna have two broken thumbs. That's Vic's trademark. Oh. 454 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:58,525 He takes 'em and he bends 'em back and twists 'em over like this. Thanks, Al. 455 00:28:58,603 --> 00:29:03,563 That's enough, okay? You may not like it, but you're gonna have to get that money from Ellen or Rachel. 456 00:29:03,641 --> 00:29:05,871 I personally think that Ellen is the soft touch. 457 00:29:05,944 --> 00:29:08,674 I really don't know why I put up with my husband. 458 00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:12,615 I guess it's because deep down he has- 459 00:29:12,684 --> 00:29:16,051 I don't know what he has deep down. 460 00:29:16,121 --> 00:29:19,147 Sometimes I worry about my kids. 461 00:29:19,224 --> 00:29:21,419 Junior looks up to his father so much. 462 00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:24,121 I'm afraid he's gonna be in for a big disappointment. 463 00:29:24,195 --> 00:29:27,358 My husband isn't much of a father. He thinks I should raise the kids. 464 00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:29,593 We have a very traditional family. 465 00:29:29,667 --> 00:29:32,158 So you don't work? No. I work. 466 00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:34,831 I'm a cocktail waitress at the Turf Club. 467 00:29:34,906 --> 00:29:37,773 Gambling makes me sick. Oh, me too. 468 00:29:37,842 --> 00:29:40,538 At least my husband doesn't gamble. Oh, neither does mine. 469 00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:42,546 Thank goodness. Thank God. 470 00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:45,845 I can't imagine what it would be like to be married to a gambler. 471 00:29:45,917 --> 00:29:49,444 Absolute hell. Not that I would know. 472 00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:53,423 You're gonna have a hell of a time getting a handout from either one of'em. 473 00:29:53,491 --> 00:29:56,358 Which is why I need to know which wife I'm supposed to choose. 474 00:29:56,427 --> 00:30:00,864 What's it got to do with the 2,000 clams? Because Ziggy said... 475 00:30:00,932 --> 00:30:04,891 that I'm here to pick between Rachel and Ellen, right? Right. 476 00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:08,871 I've been running around between both families, trying to decide which family needs me the most. 477 00:30:08,940 --> 00:30:11,135 And I still don't have an answer, right? Right. 478 00:30:11,209 --> 00:30:14,508 So- So I've gonna go to Ra- 479 00:30:14,579 --> 00:30:16,513 Gesundheit. Thank you. 480 00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:19,049 I gotta go to Rachel and hit her up for $2,000, 481 00:30:19,117 --> 00:30:21,642 I better make sure- darn sure- that it's not her. Right. 482 00:30:21,719 --> 00:30:24,847 Because if it is, then she's never gonna speak to me again. Wait a second. 483 00:30:24,923 --> 00:30:28,188 Then I'll never leap outta here. I'll be stuck in the - Ziggy's freaking out here. 484 00:30:28,259 --> 00:30:31,092 What's she saying? She says get the hell away from the win. 485 00:30:31,162 --> 00:30:34,393 The win? The what? Dow. 486 00:30:34,465 --> 00:30:36,399 Dow? Oh, the window. 487 00:30:36,467 --> 00:30:40,267 Get the hell away from the- Ooh, the window! 488 00:30:40,338 --> 00:30:44,001 Get away from the window, quick.! Quick.! Quick.! 489 00:30:44,075 --> 00:30:48,239 No wonder Ziggy's freakin' out. They're probably talking about you in there right now! 490 00:30:51,316 --> 00:30:53,978 - Do they know? - No, I don't think so. 491 00:30:54,052 --> 00:30:57,920 Because Ellen is just fixing Rachel's hair. She's not pulling it out. 492 00:30:57,989 --> 00:31:00,890 Al, why didn't you tell me that Ellen worked in there? 493 00:31:00,959 --> 00:31:02,893 You never asked me to check on it! All right. 494 00:31:02,961 --> 00:31:06,624 I want you to go in there and listen to what they're saying, okay? 495 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:10,190 I'm gonna figure out some way to get one of'em out of there. How you gonna do that? 496 00:31:10,268 --> 00:31:12,259 I don't know! I just- Ah. 497 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:16,466 I'll call - I'll call 'em on the phone. Which one? 498 00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:19,032 I don't know! Just go! Go on! 499 00:31:20,144 --> 00:31:22,135 I grew up on fairy tales. 500 00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:27,112 My mother always told me that Prince Charming would come along on a white horse... 501 00:31:27,185 --> 00:31:29,119 and sweep me off my feet. 502 00:31:29,187 --> 00:31:32,748 She didn't tell you Prince Charming would have two grand riding on that horse, I bet. 503 00:31:32,824 --> 00:31:37,124 My mother- God rest her soul- told me, "Rachel, you can put up with just about anything from a man. 504 00:31:37,195 --> 00:31:40,687 He's a slob? Forget it. He stays out with the boys? Who cares?" 505 00:31:40,765 --> 00:31:45,395 I like Mom already. "The only thing that counts, Rachelah, is that he doesn't fool around. " 506 00:31:45,470 --> 00:31:47,938 But not very much. Amen to that. 507 00:31:48,006 --> 00:31:51,464 And, you know, isn't it funny that the wife is always the last to know? 508 00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:54,340 Oh, I'd know. They always think they'd know. 509 00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:57,074 You would be surprised how these poor darlings find out. 510 00:31:57,148 --> 00:31:59,639 Not as surprised as you sweeties are gonna be. 511 00:31:59,717 --> 00:32:04,154 It happened to a friend of mine. She overheard it in the powder room at Gage and Toners. 512 00:32:04,222 --> 00:32:06,850 That's how she found out her husband was seeing another woman? 513 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:08,916 No. Another man! No! 514 00:32:08,993 --> 00:32:11,723 Yuck! Swear. My husband told me. 515 00:32:11,796 --> 00:32:14,264 Oh! Well, what does he do for a living? 516 00:32:14,332 --> 00:32:16,323 He's in sales. Uh, Sam! 517 00:32:16,401 --> 00:32:19,529 Mine too. What type of sales? 518 00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:22,095 - Is there a Rachel Elroy here? - That's me. 519 00:32:22,173 --> 00:32:24,107 - Oh, thank God. - You have a phone call. 520 00:32:24,175 --> 00:32:26,143 Oh! 521 00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:28,201 My last name is Elroy too. 522 00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:30,509 Really? Maybe we're related. 523 00:32:30,581 --> 00:32:32,572 Closer than you think, honey. 524 00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:38,111 Thank you. 525 00:32:38,189 --> 00:32:40,123 Hello? Rachel. 526 00:32:40,191 --> 00:32:45,151 - Oh, you. - Rachel, don't hang up. J- Just hear me out. 527 00:32:45,229 --> 00:32:49,825 Now look, I know that I'm a no-good louse... 528 00:32:49,901 --> 00:32:51,835 and a terrible father. 529 00:32:51,903 --> 00:32:54,872 - And a terrible husband! - And I'm a terrible husband. 530 00:32:54,939 --> 00:32:58,067 And I'm lower than pond scum. 531 00:32:58,142 --> 00:33:01,475 And I'm low- A really terrible husband. 532 00:33:01,546 --> 00:33:04,037 You got a point? 533 00:33:04,115 --> 00:33:07,551 The point is, I want to make it up to you. I want to turn over a new leaf. 534 00:33:07,618 --> 00:33:11,918 - You're not gettin' a dime from me. - No, this isn't about money. 535 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,981 I left you a note on your car. 536 00:33:15,093 --> 00:33:17,027 What's it say? 537 00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:20,656 - If you want to know, you have to go read it. - That's a good one, Sam. 538 00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:24,361 I'll think about it. Ah, don't pay any attention to that. She's hooked. 539 00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:32,999 Keep the change, doll. 540 00:33:33,077 --> 00:33:37,173 Ah, Sam, that note idea is brilliant. I'm impressed. 541 00:33:37,248 --> 00:33:39,273 Thanks. "Thanks. " So? 542 00:33:39,350 --> 00:33:42,251 So? So what'd the note say? 543 00:33:43,287 --> 00:33:46,120 All the right things. Like? 544 00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:48,556 Believe me, she'll love the note. Oh, okay. 545 00:33:48,626 --> 00:33:52,426 I figured it out, Al! I know why I'm here! I know what Marty doesn't know. 546 00:33:52,497 --> 00:33:55,523 Tell me, tell me, tell me! No? No? No. I can't. 547 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,534 Why not? You're biased. 548 00:33:57,602 --> 00:33:59,194 I'm not. I know who you're rooting for. 549 00:33:59,270 --> 00:34:02,137 No, you don't. I do. And I don't want to argue about it. 550 00:34:02,206 --> 00:34:04,800 Tell me. Who gets him? You'll find out tonight at 6:00. 551 00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:09,546 Hi! 552 00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:12,913 Martin Joseph Elroy, I told you never to bother me here at work. 553 00:34:12,984 --> 00:34:15,919 You did? I mean, I- I know that. I know that. 554 00:34:15,987 --> 00:34:18,888 But I came by to ask you out on a date. 555 00:34:18,956 --> 00:34:22,619 What's your angle? I don't have an angle. 556 00:34:22,693 --> 00:34:27,255 I've just been rotten to you and the kids, but I think I can change all that. 557 00:34:27,331 --> 00:34:31,199 That is, if you meet me for dinner in the dining room at 6:00. 558 00:34:31,269 --> 00:34:33,260 Here at the hotel? Yeah. 559 00:34:33,337 --> 00:34:36,602 Who's paying? Well, don't - don't worry about that. 560 00:34:36,674 --> 00:34:39,404 But that only gives me an hour to go home and change. 561 00:34:39,477 --> 00:34:41,775 Just promise me that you'll be there? 562 00:34:41,846 --> 00:34:43,837 Okay. Okay. 563 00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:57,020 Well, will you look at this, Gus? What a model citizen. 564 00:34:58,463 --> 00:35:01,955 Keep America beautiful. See ya later, guys. 565 00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:15,504 Don't I have a few more hours? Wasn't that the deal? 566 00:35:15,580 --> 00:35:19,539 Come on, Marty. You're three days overdue now. Last night I gave you some grace period. 567 00:35:19,617 --> 00:35:23,678 You know me. I'm a soft-hearted, easy-going kind of guy. 568 00:35:23,754 --> 00:35:26,951 - Yeah. - Hey, I gotta share this with ya. 569 00:35:27,024 --> 00:35:31,017 Last night, after our last conversation, bought a set of oil paints - you know, with the numbers? 570 00:35:31,095 --> 00:35:34,394 You think I got a chance at being an artist? What do ya think? Well- 571 00:35:34,465 --> 00:35:36,797 Like a snowball in hell, he's got a chance. 572 00:35:36,868 --> 00:35:40,304 I think that, you know, van Gogh never painted a picture till he was 30. 573 00:35:40,371 --> 00:35:43,704 Is that a fact? Hear that, Gus? Get me a scotch. 574 00:35:43,774 --> 00:35:47,335 Yeah. Where's the money, Marty? 575 00:35:47,411 --> 00:35:50,710 Well, I- I gotta make a phone call. 576 00:35:50,781 --> 00:35:55,013 About the money? Of course. For the money. 577 00:35:56,387 --> 00:35:58,378 I'll just- Phone call? 578 00:36:01,058 --> 00:36:06,621 Yeah, operator. Yeah. Get me, uh, Klondike-7-55- uh, 55. 579 00:36:06,697 --> 00:36:09,393 Who are you callin'? 580 00:36:09,467 --> 00:36:12,925 - Hello. Big Al? - Oh, good idea! 581 00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:17,566 - I need a little help here. - Yeah. No Shinola, Sherlock! What happened to your secret plan? 582 00:36:17,642 --> 00:36:21,339 It's gonna be a disaster if I don't get out of here within a half hour. 583 00:36:21,412 --> 00:36:23,812 - Yeah. You're cutting it pretty thin. - Yeah. Well- 584 00:36:23,881 --> 00:36:25,872 And that starts next week. 585 00:36:25,950 --> 00:36:30,250 You know, Big Al, I was just wondering- I wonder who's gonna win this race. 586 00:36:30,321 --> 00:36:32,789 Sam, this is no time to be talking about gambling. 587 00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:34,950 Oh, I'm not talking about gambling. 588 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:38,894 It's a good thing, because Ziggy says we can never, never, never, never, never, ever... 589 00:36:38,963 --> 00:36:42,057 use information from the future for personal gain, and that's a rule. 590 00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:44,533 Well, what idiot made up that rule? You did! 591 00:36:44,602 --> 00:36:47,400 I tried to talk you out of it, but no! 592 00:36:47,471 --> 00:36:51,908 You said it had to be a firmly embedded command. Uh-oh. 593 00:36:51,976 --> 00:36:54,308 What? One of your kids is running away. 594 00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:57,541 Which one? Jessica. She's packing her bags. She's gonna hit the streets. 595 00:36:57,615 --> 00:37:00,140 Listen, uh- Listen, I-I got a crisis here, okay? 596 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:03,381 Um, one of my kids is running away from home, so if you could exc- 597 00:37:03,454 --> 00:37:06,321 Never mind. Al? Listen to me. You gotta go after her, okay? 598 00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:08,449 Because, remember, she can see you, so- 599 00:37:08,526 --> 00:37:10,517 What about these gorillas? I'll have to take my chances. 600 00:37:10,595 --> 00:37:14,190 I'm gonna talk to Dr. Beeks and see if she can't get Ziggy to break the rule just once. 601 00:37:14,265 --> 00:37:16,392 No! No! No! There's not enough time! Just go! 602 00:37:16,467 --> 00:37:19,459 Okay. I hope Marty's insurance is paid up. 603 00:37:19,537 --> 00:37:23,098 Finally, there is Lead Balloon. Okay, I'll see ya, Big Al. 604 00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:25,108 Did you get the money, Marty? 605 00:37:25,176 --> 00:37:28,145 Well, not exactly-yet. 606 00:37:28,212 --> 00:37:32,649 But I'll-I'll have it though, right after this race. 607 00:37:32,717 --> 00:37:37,120 On the rail is Jill's Vision, followed by Bear in the Woods... 608 00:37:37,188 --> 00:37:40,021 and Polish War Hero... 609 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:43,322 and the 40-to-1 shot, Lead Balloon.! 610 00:37:44,528 --> 00:37:47,588 Forty-one, two, three, four, five, six. 611 00:37:47,665 --> 00:37:50,498 46.50. Two thousand divided by 50 is 40! 612 00:37:50,568 --> 00:37:54,527 Will you lend me 350 and put a bet down on the 40-to-1 shot? 613 00:37:54,605 --> 00:37:56,596 On Lead Balloon? Yeah. 614 00:37:56,674 --> 00:37:59,370 That nag'll come in dead last, and you're dead broke. Hey! 615 00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:02,378 - Boy, a pool ofhumor today. - Yeah, you are! 616 00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:05,313 But you know? What's another 50 on top of the 2,000? Right? 617 00:38:05,383 --> 00:38:10,082 Because if it pays off at 40-to-1, I get $2,000. I pay you and then we're even. 618 00:38:10,154 --> 00:38:13,123 What do you say? Oh, come on. Hey! No! No, no, no, no, no! 619 00:38:13,190 --> 00:38:17,752 Show me that sensitive, artistic soul. 620 00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:26,860 Okay, Marty. 621 00:38:29,607 --> 00:38:33,043 Your mommy'll be very sad if you run away, Jessica. 622 00:38:33,110 --> 00:38:36,273 Do you know why? No. Why? 623 00:38:36,347 --> 00:38:40,408 Because you have a smile that's worth a million bucks! 624 00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:43,817 So you can't go away, or you'll take all that away from her. 625 00:38:45,523 --> 00:38:49,152 Are you coming home with us, Al? No, I don't think so, sweetheart. 626 00:38:49,226 --> 00:38:53,253 You could be my daddy. I don't really have a daddy. 627 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:56,562 Well, I didn't have a daddy either. Or a mommy. 628 00:38:56,634 --> 00:39:00,536 Did that make you feel sad? Oh. Oh, very sad. 629 00:39:00,604 --> 00:39:04,005 I used to think about what it would be like to have a mommy. 630 00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:08,011 Someone who loved me and who'd take care of me... 631 00:39:08,079 --> 00:39:11,879 and sang me to sleep and hugged me and told me everything was okay. 632 00:39:11,949 --> 00:39:13,883 That's what my mommy does! 633 00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:16,283 She does, huh? Why do you suppose she does that? 634 00:39:17,355 --> 00:39:19,687 Because she loves you more than anything. 635 00:39:24,862 --> 00:39:28,855 Will I see you again, Al? I don't know. You don't need me, honey. 636 00:39:28,933 --> 00:39:30,924 But you need your mommy... 637 00:39:31,001 --> 00:39:34,459 and, most important, your mommy needs you. 638 00:39:35,573 --> 00:39:39,270 So, you gonna promise me you're gonna take care of her? 639 00:39:39,343 --> 00:39:42,107 I promise. Will ya? And you won't run away? 640 00:39:42,179 --> 00:39:44,170 No. Okay. 641 00:39:44,248 --> 00:39:46,307 Bye, Al. Bye, hon. 642 00:39:48,786 --> 00:39:52,779 And Lead Balloon, as expected, is a long ways back. 643 00:39:52,857 --> 00:39:55,257 As they straighten out for the run down the backstretch, 644 00:39:55,326 --> 00:39:59,194 Bear in the Woods maintains the lead, David's Honey is second. Gus. Do me a favor. 645 00:39:59,263 --> 00:40:02,391 Here comes Lead Balloon- I'm gonna go get some fresh air while you, uh- 646 00:40:02,466 --> 00:40:05,492 No, no, no, no, no! Wait! Wait! Wait! It's not over yet. You never know. 647 00:40:05,569 --> 00:40:07,833 And coming on toJack Hatch now, 648 00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:11,841 there goes that 40-to-1 shot as the field comes to the top of the stretch. 649 00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:14,002 - Bear in the Woods is still in front. - Lead Balloon! 650 00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,342 David's Honey, but here comes Lead Balloon.! Come on, Lead Balloon! Come on! 651 00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:20,111 It's Bear in the stretch, and Lead Balloon has suddenly charged to the front. 652 00:40:20,184 --> 00:40:22,550 He's pulling away. What a tremendous effort! 653 00:40:22,620 --> 00:40:26,420 Lead Balloon! All right! He did it! He did it! He did it! 654 00:40:26,490 --> 00:40:29,687 Lead Balloon! Whoo-hoo-hoo! I don't believe it! He did it! 655 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:31,694 Lead Balloon! 656 00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:35,095 If there was one horse we couldn't figure in the feature, it was Lead Balloon. 657 00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:37,259 Drinks for everybody! 658 00:40:37,334 --> 00:40:42,294 Oh, Sam, it's gonna be Lead Balloon by a nose. We talked Ziggy in- 659 00:40:42,373 --> 00:40:45,467 Here he is in the winner's circle now. 660 00:40:45,543 --> 00:40:47,977 The race is over. Yeah. 661 00:40:48,045 --> 00:40:50,843 And are your thumbs okay? They're okay? You made a bet! Yes. 662 00:40:50,915 --> 00:40:52,849 And you won! Yes. 663 00:40:52,917 --> 00:40:56,216 In our eighth race, it's Lead Balloon! 664 00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:59,552 Okay, you paid off the bookie. Jessica's fine. 665 00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:01,648 You got here with two minutes to spare. 666 00:41:01,725 --> 00:41:05,559 So all you have to do is choose a wife already! 667 00:41:05,629 --> 00:41:08,223 No problem. 668 00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:10,233 Martin. 669 00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:12,428 - Ellen! - Marty! 670 00:41:12,503 --> 00:41:14,801 Rachel? 671 00:41:14,872 --> 00:41:17,363 What's she doing here? Uh, excuse me. 672 00:41:17,441 --> 00:41:19,773 Uh, Rachel. E- Excuse me! 673 00:41:19,844 --> 00:41:23,177 Rachel. I think you've mistaken my husband for someone else. 674 00:41:23,247 --> 00:41:25,875 This is my husband! Sam, what's goin' on? 675 00:41:25,950 --> 00:41:28,885 Martin, is this one of your silly little jokey-wokeys? 676 00:41:28,953 --> 00:41:33,083 It better be a jokey-wokey. This is no jokey-wokey-joke! 677 00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:35,421 I decided honesty would be the best policy. 678 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,484 For Boy Scouts, not for bigamists! 679 00:41:37,561 --> 00:41:41,156 Now, ladies, I think it's time you both know something. 680 00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:44,599 I... am- 681 00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:47,262 Sam! Sam! A bigamist. 682 00:41:48,839 --> 00:41:51,239 Stop it, will ya? 683 00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:53,833 First I married you, and then I married you. 684 00:41:53,911 --> 00:41:55,936 Will you cut it out! 685 00:41:56,013 --> 00:41:59,073 Let's stop horsin' around and grab a bite. I'm starving. 686 00:41:59,149 --> 00:42:03,176 Rachel. I'm the father of your two children. 687 00:42:04,421 --> 00:42:07,117 Ellen, I'm the father of your two children. 688 00:42:07,191 --> 00:42:09,853 Will you change the subject, for cryin' out loud? 689 00:42:09,927 --> 00:42:12,828 Could we go home now, please? I have two homes. 690 00:42:12,897 --> 00:42:16,492 I have a home here with you and a home with you in Brooklyn. 691 00:42:16,567 --> 00:42:20,503 Now, I'm not tellin' any more lies. I brought you two together on purpose. 692 00:42:20,571 --> 00:42:23,904 On purpose? You brought them togeth - This was your plan? 693 00:42:23,974 --> 00:42:27,933 I'm a lowlife, so go ahead- 694 00:42:28,012 --> 00:42:30,207 let me have it. 695 00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:32,272 You hussy! 696 00:42:32,349 --> 00:42:34,977 You home wrecker! He's my husband! 697 00:42:35,052 --> 00:42:36,747 He's my husband! He's mine! 698 00:42:36,820 --> 00:42:39,755 He's mine! Driver's license - Ellen Louise Elroy. 699 00:42:39,823 --> 00:42:41,757 Rachel Thelma Elroy. Married! 700 00:42:41,825 --> 00:42:43,759 Married! Father David Murphy. 701 00:42:43,827 --> 00:42:45,988 - Rabbi Barry Goldstein. - That's enough! 702 00:42:47,331 --> 00:42:51,290 It's not her fault. And it's not her fault. 703 00:42:51,368 --> 00:42:53,461 I'm the one who married both of you. 704 00:42:55,372 --> 00:42:58,773 - She didn't know you were already married? - No. I never told her. 705 00:42:58,842 --> 00:43:01,572 You hocked my silver candlesticks from Great Grandma Sara... 706 00:43:01,645 --> 00:43:03,738 so you could spend money on her? 707 00:43:03,814 --> 00:43:06,112 I didn't spend it on her. 708 00:43:06,183 --> 00:43:08,674 I lost it at the track, I think. 709 00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:10,686 You can bet on it. 710 00:43:10,754 --> 00:43:13,746 You know what? I believe you. 711 00:43:13,824 --> 00:43:17,123 He steals my children's allowance and spends it on horse races. 712 00:43:17,194 --> 00:43:20,186 And then he sends them to school with lunch in a barf bag! 713 00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:24,928 I'm sure that neither one of you have been happy one day with good old Marty since you married him. 714 00:43:25,002 --> 00:43:29,939 - What are you saying, Sam? - Well, I've always been worried about something. 715 00:43:30,007 --> 00:43:32,635 I'm always worried we're not going to be able to make rent. 716 00:43:32,710 --> 00:43:35,645 I am constantly worried we're going to lose the house. 717 00:43:35,713 --> 00:43:37,704 Really? Oh, they're bonding. That's bad. 718 00:43:37,781 --> 00:43:41,774 I cannot tell you how many sleepless nights I've spent wondering when the bank was going to foreclose. 719 00:43:41,852 --> 00:43:44,184 Sam, the train is going in the wrong direction. 720 00:43:44,254 --> 00:43:46,245 No, it's going in exactly the right direction. 721 00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:49,724 You know what? I think he's been taking advantage of both of us. 722 00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:52,387 - I know he has. - Of course, he has. 723 00:43:54,398 --> 00:43:56,389 - Marty? - Hmm? 724 00:43:56,467 --> 00:44:00,233 I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but I'm leaving you. 725 00:44:00,304 --> 00:44:03,102 Ellen gets him! I knew it! I knew it! Ellen, he's all yours. 726 00:44:03,173 --> 00:44:06,006 Oh, no. I'm going home and changing the locks. He's yours. 727 00:44:06,076 --> 00:44:08,544 Oh, I knew Rachel gets him. I don't want him! 728 00:44:08,612 --> 00:44:11,547 Well, neither do I! Now you've blown it for both of them! 729 00:44:11,615 --> 00:44:15,073 Do something, Sam! I think I just did. 730 00:44:15,152 --> 00:44:17,518 I guess we're both leaving you, Martin. 731 00:44:17,588 --> 00:44:19,715 I guess I deserve it. 732 00:44:19,790 --> 00:44:21,951 Sam, this is incredible! You're changing history. 733 00:44:22,026 --> 00:44:24,586 Rachel marries a doctor, and her kids graduate from college. 734 00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:26,892 - What about Ellen? - I agree with Rachel. 735 00:44:26,964 --> 00:44:29,899 We've let you get away with murder. 736 00:44:29,967 --> 00:44:34,768 Uh, Ellen - She becomes a marriage counselor and she remarries, and her kids are fine too. 737 00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:37,238 And, oh, get this. Get this! 738 00:44:37,307 --> 00:44:41,767 Marty cleans up his act and makes a bundle on the lecture circuit talking about his story. 739 00:44:41,845 --> 00:44:45,008 And-And you know what? It has got to stop. 740 00:44:45,082 --> 00:44:48,051 You're right. It has to stop. 741 00:44:54,124 --> 00:44:56,058 Good-bye, Martin. 742 00:44:57,094 --> 00:44:59,085 See ya, Marty. 743 00:44:59,163 --> 00:45:03,361 Would you like to come to my house for a cup of coffee, and we could talk about this? 744 00:45:03,434 --> 00:45:05,368 I'd love to. Great. 745 00:45:05,436 --> 00:45:07,370 You know something? Yes! 746 00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:09,929 You know somethin'? I don't believe it. What? 747 00:45:10,007 --> 00:45:14,569 You figured out that you leapt in to blow Marty's scam, 748 00:45:14,645 --> 00:45:16,738 and you didn't tell me. 749 00:45:16,814 --> 00:45:21,251 You knew! You knew, Sam! You knew it! You didn't tell me! 750 00:45:21,318 --> 00:45:23,411 Would you have listened to me? Marty.! 751 00:45:23,487 --> 00:45:25,421 Daddy.! Oh, Marty.! 752 00:45:25,489 --> 00:45:27,047 Surprise! 753 00:45:28,992 --> 00:45:31,927 Hi, Daddy.! 754 00:45:31,995 --> 00:45:34,463 Oh, boy! 755 00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:45,497 All right.! All right.! Listen- Listen to me.! 756 00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:50,013 We are here tonight, not because we want more rights than men have, 757 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,743 but because we want the same rights men have. 758 00:45:53,817 --> 00:45:57,412 - I'm asking you to burn it.! - Do it! Just do it! 759 00:45:57,488 --> 00:46:01,117 Burn it for liberation.! Burn it now.! 760 00:46:01,191 --> 00:46:04,627 Liberation now.! 761 00:46:04,695 --> 00:46:07,493 Liberation now! Oh, boy. 762 00:46:08,499 --> 00:46:12,458 Liberation now.! Liberation now.! 763 00:46:12,508 --> 00:46:17,058 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0